Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Grief Is Still Too Near...

What can be worse than your own tragedy, one that happens to one of your children? There are many words that describe the way I feel right now; extreme sadness, sympathy, compassion but the one most prominent is helplessness. Our daughter had the healthiest pregnancy, brought the baby to full term and then the day before she was to give birth the child had no heart beat. My heart simply breaks for her and my son-in-law and for our whole family. So much I want to comfort her but yet comfort seems to have left our presence completely. My prayer last night was for the Lord to wrap His arms around her and my son-in-law and really draw them close during this time and to let us know the right things to say and do. My prayer is also for their young marriage and the stress this may bring to it. My heart is not full of why questions thought these typically accompany the grieving process early on. I have learned this does not lead down the comfort road as they most likely will not be answered. As righteous a man as Job was God did not feel the need to answer any of his questions. Sometimes understanding helps the recovery process come quicker but in this situation a lot of understanding may not be given. So then what does this leave? Only love and trust are left. Recovery is a hill that generally can only be climbed slowly and steadily and is different for everyone. Men and women for the most part do not process grief the same way. The very things that may bring comfort to a woman may make it more difficult for a man to recover and vice versa. Men often times want to quickly distance themselves from whatever it is that causes them pain while a woman may seek things to cherish and remind them of the situation. Women may want to speak about it often and verbalizing helps them in the healing process while some men do not. A common friend we all have in these situations is time. Now I don’t believe that time alone heals all wounds but time connected with much prayer and love from those closest to you it is the best remedy we have for tragedy. My heart still breaks.

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